Believing in Yourself with Hashimoto | Hashimoto Coach

Even as a child, I had a natural flow of just 'being'. I suppose that's part of being a kid, but from what I hear from my parents and family, and what I see in old photos, I was always cheerful and bright. I think I was always just myself—after all, who else was I supposed to be?

As I grew older, that developed into a love for creativity. I was always drawing, building, exploring the garden, or putting on a show—and I definitely made sure I had everyone's attention! I sang constantly. Not that I was any good at it, but I loved it, especially when singing at the top of my lungs.

So it was no surprise that I was already posing in front of the camera as a little girl. I loved acting silly, and that too came naturally. Again, just being myself.

When I look back at those moments and compare them to who I am today, I think I have a sort of natural ability to step over obstacles, no matter what happens. Whether that comes from positivity or optimism, I don't really know. It's not that I bury my head in the sand; it's more that I believe I always have a choice. 'Get busy living or get busy dying'—I simply have a deep enthusiasm for life.

Unfortunately, fate decided that I wasn't offered a permanent contract at my last job. Not because they weren't happy with me, but more because the work turned out to be a poor match for me—and by that, I mean it didn't go well with my Hashimoto's. Even though I agree with the decision, it still hurts that it didn't work out yet again. You get settled in, you have lovely colleagues, a great company, and then, because of this crappy condition, you have to start looking for something else all over again.

Now, I am incredibly grateful that we have such a good social safety net here in the Netherlands (for now, at least), but even this process brings a lot of stress, and society's opinions can be harsh.

It's not that I don't want to work; it's just that this illness is so unpredictable. And when so many other things are happening at once, your energy simply runs out. In a short space of time, I had to cope with the loss of my beloved father, caring for my mother and my sick partner, a major Hashimoto's flare-up, and going through menopause. Yet, I keep showing up (isn't that a form of work too?). I choose self-care, and even though it doesn't earn me any money, I choose to be there for my loved ones.

Still, I do need something more now. I want to participate in life because, as I mentioned before, I love connection, working on something together, creating something beautiful, or offering a helping hand.

While government agencies and institutions offer help, with all due respect, I often think: I know exactly what the problem is. Can I not just be allowed, for a little while, to not know what the next step is or should be?

And that brings me back to the memory of that three-year-old girl, singing 'because that's just life' and dancing around happily. Believing in yourself, the inner strength that guides you through life... and then I think... you know what... just watch me...